Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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