It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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