he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
