I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
