i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She bit a glass in half.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
