woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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