I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
