i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so let's talk penis.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What a dumb baby whore.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
