I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
