You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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