The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
