Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Someone came in the potted fern
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
