something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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