your room smells of hookers.
And success
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
