I'm eating all of the evidence.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
