At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
