People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A+ Viking dick
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize