Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
