she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
