i may or may not be watching the land before time
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize