Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
