college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
this just has baby written all over it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
