just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
