i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
