Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
