My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
