i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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