apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
