I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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