She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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