If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
