my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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