what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
