I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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