its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
