I want to stick my p in your. b.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
