If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
