I need help removing her.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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