i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
