So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
