margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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