I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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