Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
