Small penises have feelings too.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
