the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
