i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
