you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
