i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
