More tranny stories later!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
