Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
only if we run a train.
done.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
