dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
