I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
