That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
