she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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