I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
4 words: hood of his car
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize