I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
