theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
