If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
