Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
